I know, I REALLY sucked at updating everyone the past, oh I don't know.. MONTH or so. But between the kid and school stuff, Adams military commitments, a few holidays, and everyday life in general... Lets just say there have been some very interesting days!
Let start with the kid and school. Halloween and Thanksgiving break was great. He is always a blast to take trick or treating. Thanksgiving was a small intimate affair with just the three of us. Honestly, it was pretty depressing. Despite the massive effort I made into cooking a full blown family meal, it wasn't the same as being "home" in Michigan with the family and friends that we have always celebrated with. Its honestly, one more thing that we have to "get used to" and its not an easy thing. I have never actually lived out of Michigan or away from my family. They have always been within a hour so so drive at most. Yes, it comes with the territory of being a military spouse, but that doesn't justify or make it any easier!
Job hunting, oh this has been so fun here in El Paso, TX. I have applied for so many jobs in this area that I literally have lost count. While I LOVE being a stay at home mom, the extra money would be great to pay off a couple small bills and well, save money for traveling back home if anything, for our sons mental well being. The biggest problem... I DON'T SPEAK SPANISH! Everything, seriously EVERYTHING down here you have to speak Spanish for. Ok, I get it, we are at the US/Mexico border, but really... We are in the United States of America and we do in fact speak English. I would understand if I went to Germany and people there got pissy because I didn't know German. it just really bothers me even more when you use goods or services or give your business to someone, they expect you to speak Spanish because they do or they assume you do. Makes it really AWKWARD when you say, "excuse me, but I don't speak Spanish.... what?" They look at YOU like you're the issue. No, I am a citizen of the United States of America and my countries native language is English, not Spanish.( please don't even argue with me about this, its 2013 and we all speak fucking English, and to be a legal citizen, you need to speak what is considered our native tongue and that, its ENGLISH.) Sorry people, it just doesn't sit well with me. What also bothers me is when the schools let the teachers talk to certain students in the general education class room in Spanish when the kids that only know English, need help and aren't getting it... but that's a WHOLE other topic for another time.
Lets lastly, talk about our housing dilemma shall we? So we got this house in August. We told the housing offices, Balfour Beatty before we moved to Ft. Bliss that our son had ADA/ special needs and not once did they say anything about any paperwork packets, anything about having to have some doctor that has never even seen our child who is a doctor of preventative medicine, to sign off on a housing accommodation for special needs/ADA homes. "This is THE only home we have right now" they told us. Well, when you have to drive 1600+ miles with a five year old, two dogs and two vehicles with little sleep, you take what they
" only have". That said, while we do really like the house... the constant bugs that crawl into the cracks of the windows at night and bite our son, the water leaks from the roof that have damaged the ceiling, walls and carpet and add on the carpet that was never cleaned in the first place, its a severe asthmatics worst nightmare every day and night. Our son wakes up at least two times a night sneezing, when he eats breakfast, more sneezing, goes to school or even wakes up with really nasty headaches that we went to the doctor for again today and she basically just said to go back to the ENT and Allergist to re-evaluate because its presenting itself as allergy related due to the environment and home. Now, add in that our son has a pretty decent visual impairment and has been diagnosed with speech delay and PDD-NOS, this home really doesn't fit the bill in MANY MANY ways. No fenced in yard, horrible layout for a visually disabled or challenged person, let alone a child. Then we have no private parking. Its either park in the ally behind the house ( surrounded by sand and dirt thats always kicked up) or, on a major street that is traveled heavily most working hours as well as its a PT road and people drive like assholes even though there is a stop sign facing our home and another one less than an 1/8 of a mile down. I have to park on the street with the passenger side door facing the yard so he can get into the car with little to no issues anytime we have to leave to go somewhere. A while back, the assistant community manager advised me she would get back to me when she got an approval for a cross walk so I didn't have to park on the road and risk our Jeep getting hit or our child, but, of course, she dropped the ball on that along with everything else and refused to return my calls. So, I called the MP's and made it known I was parking on the street for a reason and our son has a handicap sticker for a reason and explained what was going on and they were really cool about it, thank god! Seriously, the people in the that housing office have a HORRIBLE time keeping their commitments to call residents back or communicate period. So, after dealing with all these issues and submitting two times paperwork packets, some doctor, LTC Sheryl Bedno to be exact, denied our request for a different home. Go figure, a doctor that doesn't even see pediatric, let alone adults for routine and specialty care. Shes a preventative medicine doctor... seriously guys. Went to IG here for the post and they basically just said " we make sure they do due process and they have done that, try going to the Manger of the Balfour Beatty office, try going to her boss" So I took that as a big " FUCK YOU, very much leave me alone" and again, took matters into my own hands. Made contact with the main office with a man named Raul and at first, was amazing, then he went on vacation and said in not so many words, "I got your request approved now deal with my manager and leave me alone" basically. Um, thanks dude but... its not ADA housing. Its seriously just another home on post. Now,we did go look at models of the two homes that they offered, and while the one was a " OH HELL FUCK NAW!" the other one, that was built in the mid-late 90's wasn't bad at all. It had the fenced yard, no carpet in any of the house, but only two bedrooms. Now two bedrooms isn't a HUGE deal, but when your child is used to having a bedroom and toy/activity room separate... its a bigger deal than what some may think really. Its how its always been and how his peds doc back in MI asked us to do it for learning and discipline reasons as well as so his room isn't cluttered with toys that he could easily trip on due to his vision, he does have a pretty bad issue with depth perception. Yea they don't care here. So, with the recommendation of not only our sons doctor, my doctor and the doctor that reviewed the packets and signed off before they even went to LTC Bedno, then add in EFMP and his specialist doctors, they ALL advised me to go to the Commanding General, McFarland.
Now, typically,
YOU NEVER DO THIS. EVER. NEVER EVER EVER DO THIS. But when you exhaust all resources, your husbands chain of command even said their hands are tied, and yet have medical records and proof of what your child needs for his or her safety as well as medically, some shit you have to finally just say, "fuck ALL YA'LL, momma gonna do, what mommas gotta do!" I'm not one to idly stand by and watch my son suffer. That's just not an option. Never has been. So, after reaching out to the CG hotline, they advised me to email them everything that has happened, who I have talked to, and what the status was at that point as well as the two documents of denial. So I did. we had our housing inspection today, I am "suppose" to go sign for the new location tomorrow but the CG office told me to hold off till Thursday so now.... I have to come up with a plan to stall ONE day because they will have an official update/ answer Thursday morning. When I asked the housing office, Why cant you issue us an ADA home, you have them available and we have a son that has that need... the answer... Your family size doesn't qualify as they are all three bedroom homes. I take that as get fucking pregnant and your wish will be granted. Well, my husband and I beg to differ. What you are REALLY saying is "it has nothing to do with family size, your husbands rank doesn't meet the needs and you will take whatever we have to offer to you that you are requesting and have gone around us to get." See and this is where the issue is. When does a child's health, well being and safety not matter...? When you are a military family clearly. I just can not justify nor risk anymore medical issues with him. He is at an age where he KNOWS whats going on and you can see that hes miserable when he sneezes, cant sleep, as trouble even going to the bathroom because ours is SO small...etc.... Never in my life have I had to buy SO much Kleenex or toilet paper. And, since I'm a cool mom that loves her son unconditionally, I may have bought a homemade Angry Birds kleenex tissue box holder from the German Holiday Craft Bazaar this past weekend. Be jealous, its cool. LOL
Hopefully all that made sense, didn't give you a migraine like what I have had since I've been here and I hope to have another update Thursday night. In the mean time.... have a great rest of the week! We are working on it! :)
~Heather
